“Declaring the age of paternalism over, President Bush said Thursday the United States demands clear results for the billions of taxpayer dollars it sends to Africa. He accused other nations of exploiting the continent’s resources or irresponsibly offering aid as charity.”

Did he really say this? Did he say it with a straight face? Maybe they misquoted him? Maybe what he really said was:

“Declaring the age of imperialism over, President Bush said Thursday the United States demands clear results for the billions of taxpayer dollars it sends to Iraq. He accused the oil companies of exploiting the continent’s resources and the military of irresponsibly offering bribes with no accountability.”

Yeah, right … when pigs fly.