Monday, February 04th, 2008 | Author:

If getting yelled at by a camera isn’t enough, move to Mississippi. GOP Rep. W. T. Mayhall Jr has introduced a bill that would make it illegal for restaurants to feed fat people – I kid you not.

Given the demonstrated creativity of our government officials, I wondered what other problems they could solve for us. Feel free to add your ideas, but I have focused on the aging baby boomers. We are going to bankrupt the social security system, and we’re going to eat up way too much of the health care dollar. Adding these problems to the chronic shortage of organ donors, I propose the following legislation:

Before receiving any social security benefits, each person will submit to a physical and a detailed review of their medical history. Based on projected longevity and health care costs, each person would be assigned a number. As organs are needed by otherwise healthy, young people who can still contribute to the economy, the list will be used to harvest the needed organs. This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Your number is up.”

Obviously, the details of this plan will need to be worked out by the geniuses in government, but think about the potential benefits to us baby boomers:

  • We can spend our retirement money on fun stuff.
  • The days of bankruptcy-by-hospital-bill would be history.
  • Florida will be much less crowded.
  • The problems of living on a fixed income will be eliminated.
  • We’ll know ahead of time when we’re going to die.

Who says government can’t solve all our problems?

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2 Responses
  1. Christian Beyer says:

    I like it. And the way its been going I’ll have used up all my organs by retirement age.

  2. akaGaGa says:

    See? You won’t need retirement money. Go on a shopping spree!