Tuesday, June 17th, 2008 | Author:

Technology is amazing. I’m still struggling to understand how a light switch works, and MAP Information Technology Corp has a chip the Middletown School is going to use to monitor the kids – no kidding. They’re tagging the kids bookbags, and will record when they get on the bus, where the bus is, and when they get off the bus. All this information will be available to parents and school officials on a website. Isn’t this great? Remote-control parenting. Remote control teaching.

Soon somebody, though, will realize that kids sometimes forget their bookbags – at home, on the bus, at school. This will lead to wasted phone calls and needless worries, but I hereby predict the solution: put the chip under the kids’ skin, where they can’t lose it. Then the parents can install a monitoring device on their front door, and maybe in the kids’ bedrooms. Before you know it, they’ll be able to parent and never have to see their kids. Isn’t that great?

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