Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009 | Author:

This just in … from the Sacred Sandwich. :)

Hot on the heels of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America’s decision to allow the appointment of non-celibate gays to the clergy, another prominent Christian denomination has decided this week to allow practicing drunkards in the pulpit.

Meeting in Las Vegas, leaders of the Evangelical Lukewarm Christians in Apostasy (ELCA-Not the Lutherans) voted in favor of giving their local congregations the authority to choose ministers or lay leaders who may be in “lifelong, monogamous relationships with alcohol.”

Said the denomination’s president, Ben Halifax, “Since the Lutheran ELCA has courageously decided to ignore the condemnation of homosexuals in 1st Corinthians 6:9-10, we figured it was time for our own denomination to ignore the verses’ reference to drunkards and immediately loosen our outdated and unloving restrictions on boozehounds.”

A motion to also include the acceptance of clerical fornicators, adulterers, idolators, thieves, revilers, and swindlers was tabled until next year’s meeting.

Read the rest here.

Category: grins
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6 Responses
  1. AKA Angrywhiteman says:

    I'll let The LORD's own words declare it

    Eccl 1:9

    9 The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun .

    Followed by;

    Matt 16:6

    6 Then Jesus said unto them, Take heed and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees.

    And again;

    Mark 8:15

    15 And he charged them, saying, Take heed, beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, and of the leaven of Herod.

    Can you imagine the shame these cutting edge "enlightened" self righteous people are going to feel when the LORD says;

    Matt 7:23

    23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.


    Luke 13:27

    27 But he shall say, I tell you, I know you not whence ye are; depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity.

    I think this will be how they may feel at that time;

    Rev 6:15-16

    15 And the kings of the earth, and the great men, and the rich men, and the chief captains, and the mighty men, and every bondman, and every free man, hid themselves in the dens and in the rocks of the mountains;

    16 And said to the mountains and rocks, Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sitteth on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb:

    I sure wouldn't want to be in their shoes when the time comes.

  2. Jim Wetzel says:

    The situation's not funny, but the "drunken clergy" piece certainly is!

    Makes you wonder of the ELCA or some of the other big denominations might reach some "prayerful" decision someday to allow for non-inclusive clergy to occupy their pulpits. I don't think I'll hold my breath while waiting for that!

  3. ~ Sara ~ says:

    You have got to be kidding! What in the sam hill is going on in the heart and minds of these people?!

  4. akaGaGa says:

    @AKA No, I wouldn't want to be in their shoes – but I'm not so sure I want to be in mine, either! I'll just keep pointing to Jesus' shoes.

    @Jim Wetzel Glad you appreciated it. It was intended as some comedy relief.

    @Sara Oh, Sara m'dear, go back and read it again. It's intended to be a joke.

  5. AKA Angrywhiteman says:

    You know aka, I didn't go on to the article and find out that the (ELCA-Not the Lutherans) were in jest, and I really believe God has a great sense of humor. Crow is tough, no matter how I cook it.

    Regarding the true ELCA, who are allowing gays in the clergy, I feel confident the previous post stands.

  6. akaGaGa says:

    @AKA No crow eating required. And as I often post things that are just as outrageous, it was an easy mistake to make. And you're right – the real ELCA would do well to heed your scriptures.