I’m writing to apologize that I couldn’t watch your whole State of the Union Address last night.  You see, I had a prior commitment.  I had to clean the cat box.

So how’d it go?  Did you get applause from both sides of the rooms?  Did everyone understand the error of their ways after you explained just what it was they had previously misunderstood?  Did you feel better for getting everything off your chest?

I have to say, though, I thought it was pretty tacky to go after the Supreme Court when they couldn’t respond. In grade school, we would have called that “does not play well with others.”

And about those wars that you kept throwing back in President Bush’s face?  You do realize that you could just end them and bring our people home, don’t you?  I’m just saying, in case you hadn’t thought of that idea.

That’s all for now, Mr. Pres.  It’s time to wash my hair.